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Joke of the Day Sunday, September 10, 2006 A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice.After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in
the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE
ICE." The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the
ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole. The voice
came once more, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." The voice replied, "NO,.. THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK." Posted by Donald L. Luskin at 9/10/2006 07:03:00 PM | link
Thursday, September 07, 2006 A dedicated union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?""No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't." "Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" "The house gets $80 and the girls get $20," she answered. Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules." The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" "The girls get $80 and the house gets $20." "That's more like it!" the union man said. He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive blonde. "I'd like her," he said. "I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 92-year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and according to union rules, she's next." Posted by Donald L. Luskin at 9/07/2006 02:25:00 PM | link
Friday, September 01, 2006 Two Tennessee farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer.Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets the Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a weedeater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weedeater, I think that you would have a yard." "Well that's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife." "Yes, I do have a wife." "And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing; you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater." Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "Well listen up and I'll show you. Do you have a weedeater?" "No." Bob says. "Then you're a queer." Posted by Donald L. Luskin at 9/01/2006 09:59:00 AM | link
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