The media, once again, blows a natural occurrence out of proportion; and inconspicuously, with a little help from PETA and Al Gore, blames Bush and SUV owners for another record-breaking summer. With all the hype about hot temps, two questions come to mind: Is summer supposed to be hot? What did people do before central air?

Because of our pampered culture, it's impossible to tolerate such extreme seasons without it being a perfect 71 degrees year-round. Yes, summer is supposed to be hot. I can't remember one summer in my life without it being hot. But I have an obvious remedy to avoid the hot weather - simply switch hemispheres for a season! My sister-in-law just arrived home from a two-month trip to Australia, where she spent most of the summer with a coat and heater. But if our media moves Down Under, you may hear about the coldest summer on record.

Also, I can't help but wonder what people did before air conditioning. As for those who came before us, namely within the past five centuries, what did the women do with the yards of fabric and layers of petticoats they dragged behind them? I'm convinced that what ultimately got them through the summer were the flutter fans. If used correctly, those fans must have blown more air onto their faces and necks than any modern AC would.

Our city holds a charity drive every summer, during the hottest week, to collect fans and distribute them to the "needy." First, why do they wait until it's over 100 degrees? Buy out the stock at Wal-Mart at the end of summer while they're on sale, and distribute them out then!

Second, all welfarians (those on welfare) are not necessarily needy. Many times, we, the working class, rush to the need of welfarians after they spend our tax money on double bass car speakers, $300 shoes, and imported drugs. Instead of electric fans, my advice would be to pass out those little miraculous flutter fans to the welfarians. Not only would it help them to stay cool, it would also give them the satisfaction of actually working for something they need.

Despite all the past successes in surviving summers without AC, I'm still waiting for someone to blame Bush for the heat wave. In the meantime, chill.

Sarah Coley