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Joke of the Day
Send in your best ones -- and don't blame us if these jokes are both poor and stupid.
Friday, June 23, 2006
A very mean and very unattractive woman walks into Walmart with her two kids. The Walmart Greeter, asks "Are they twins"?The woman says, "No, the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why? Do you think they really look alike?"
"No", replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice."
Posted by Donald L. Luskin at 6/23/2006 03:00:00 PM | link
Monday, June 19, 2006
A blind rabbit and a blind snake literally bumped into each other in the forest. Being blind, both had been abandoned by their parents."I'm so sorry," said the rabbit, "I've been blind since birth, so I can't see where I'm going. In fact, I don't even know what I am."
"It's quite ok," the snake replied. "In fact, I've also been blind since birth and don't know what I am. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and work out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you."
"That would be wonderful" replied the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and he said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, and you have a soft cottony tail. You must be a rabbit."
"Oh, thank you! Thank you," cried the bunny, in obvious excitement. The bunny then suggested, "Maybe I could feel you with my paw so I can tell you what you are."
So the bunny felt the snake all over, and he said, "Well, you're smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. You must be French."
Posted by Donald L. Luskin at 6/19/2006 01:51:00 PM | link
John Kerry is gearing up for another presidential run, so he's trying to get more support from the Catholic church. So Kerry visits the Cardinal of his local Catholic cathedral. He tells the Cardinal that he will be attending the next Sunday's sermon, and he asks if the Cardinal would kindly point him out to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling him a saint.
The Cardinal replied, "No, I don't really like you, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of your views."
Kerry says, "Look, I'll write a check here and now for a donation of $100,000 to your church, if you'll just tell the congregation you see me as a saint"
The Cardinal thought about it and said, "Well, the church can use the money, so I'll work your request into my next sermon."
So Kerry appears for the Sunday sermon and seats himself prominently at the edge of the main aisle. And, during the sermon, as promised, the Cardinal points out that Senator Kerry is present. Then the Cardinal goes on to explain to the congregation,
"While Senator Kerry's presence is probably an honor to some, he is not my
favorite person. Some of his views are contrary to those of the church, and he
tends to flip-flop on many other views. John Kerry is a petty, self absorbed
hypocrite and a nit-wit. John Kerry is a liar, a cheat, and a thief. John Kerry
is the worst example of a Catholic I've ever personally witnessed. He turned on
his buddies in Viet Nam. He wrote a book and portrayed himself in the best light
when he was a traitor to his fellow servicemen. He has lied about his military
record and had the gall to put himself in for a medal. He married for money and
is using it to lie to the American people. He also has a reputation for shirking
his senatorial obligations both in Washington, and in Massachusetts. He simply isn't to be trusted...
"But, when compared to Ted Kennedy, John Kerry is a saint."
Posted by Donald L. Luskin at 6/19/2006 01:51:00 PM | link