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Joke of the Day
Send in your best ones -- and don't blame us if these jokes are both poor and stupid.
Saturday, September 25, 2004
Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Athens Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."
5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."
8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"
Posted by Donald L. Luskin at 9/25/2004 04:49:00 PM | link
Thursday, September 02, 2004
A liberal east coast senator was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
"Well then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the senator said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."
"Bring them along," the senator replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the senator answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the senator and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The senator replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost a foot high!"
Posted by Donald L. Luskin at 9/02/2004 01:19:00 AM | link